Are we on the road to greater things now?

What do you think of “half & half scarfs” and other strange stuff? 

It is all sent to try us, we dedicated loyal supporters who are purists in a world of ever-changing footballing madness.

As one fan said to me “What a load of shit, not football fans… shit fans”. Another said, “Who wants a scarf with Tottenham on one side and shit on the other…?” When I asked him to elaborate, he said, “God man, are you stupid or blind… what dimension (?) are you from.”

Well, as far as I know, the Twilight zone, I replied, with good humour.

“The what fooking scarf is that… I don’t want to see a scarf with Tottenham on it and the Twilight Zone… are they none league?”

Changing the subject quickly, but not before adding, we’ll leave that to Rod Serling… then immediately regretted it.

“What… Arsenal bastard is he?”

Could be, could be… but he is dead… probably too much time in that other dimension… anyway, you are not a half-scarf fan… then I quickly hurried away (back to the living… I hope).

You get my drift. They are not liked by “true” supporters, whatever that means, as I know a lot of lifelong Spurs supporters that buy them. It is called Souvenirs.  It is there to make money for whomever. It is not just in this country, but across the European continent and probably beyond, who have gone mad about this craze.

Fans, young kids on their first journey to Tottenham or whatever team that tickles them, purchase the scarfs with joy (Question is, why didn’t Joy explain the fundamental commandments of cross-eyed football supporters?). They want a memento to take home and show all their friends that Spurs had played Arsenal or whatever match they saw.

You see the sellers outside stadiums, thrusting their wares in front of you… “Proper” fans turning their noses up and walking away, with the occasional Scarf seller shouting “you’ll regret it if Spurs win, what will you have to remember that great event by,” or something just as ridiculous.

Of course if one waited to after the match, then you might find they’ve been slashed to half the price.

Anyway, it is not liked by the majority of fans. Some have even tried to get them banned from their club. But who is going to stop money being made?

That is not the only phenomenon I’ve seen. When we played Liverpool at the old stadium a young lady, sitting not that far from me, was wearing a Tottenham half-Shirt sewn on to a Liverpool half-shirt. When somebody questioned it – a Steward – she said she supported both teams. At least she won’t go home disappointed with the result. Next step is for an Arsenal/ Chelsea or West Ham half and half person walking into the stadium. And that isn’t that far-fetched (not the wearing) as I’ve talked to many Spurs season ticket holders who also hold a season ticket for West Ham/ Arsenal or Chelsea. I was going to add; even all three, but that would be ridiculous as even a twisted morphing psychopath couldn’t go to all the matches at the same time.

What is the world coming to? I remember the time when your team was decided by the nearest stadium you lived by. Then as people moved further away from their home grounds, it just became a case of picking a team. That was usually decided by how well the team was doing when you chose it. Some even looking abroad to find their ideal club.

I’ve known a person to support one team one year and then,  as “their” team sort of dived, went looking for another team. When confronted, I was told “I want to be known or associated with success… or when my mind changes the team changes for me… what is wrong with that?” Plenty, but let us not go into that here. The football world does feel, sometimes, like you have actually entered the Twilight Zone.

“It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.”

Yes, I know… half & half scarfs, half & half shirts, fly by night supporters… you’ll think you will wake up in a minute… but when you do… you’ll find it wasn’t a dream, but true bollocks has encroached on our football and has been taken over by the Wombles or even worse the lunatics from planet Nine, at 2 O’clock past the second rock. Yes, you’ve entered the twilight zone.

And what next? We already have families split because of different loyalties so it won’t be that… how about your spouse bringing home a penguin and saying this is my new Arsenal buddy and I now have conscious thoughts about it on days when there is no football… Then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a chocolate bar and easts it in front of you (you suddenly realise that the chocolate bar is a Penguin bar…) God help us! You will be thinking, is that bollocks real or is the author of these rambles just bloody mad? I suppose that depends on where one is standing when these thoughts occur. But madness always plays a part when jotting down one's impressions, where did I leave those pills!

Until the next moon rising, I shall leave you with these happy thoughts.

Don Scully

PS if you are questioning my sanity after reading this, just remember, we are in the silly period (in-between football seasons).